Do I have any mom friends?
I am not sure if I have any real mom friends. That’s a weird thing to admit, but it’s true. I’m an introvert by nature, and over the course of my life, I have let very few people really get to know me. I also don’t use the word “friend” lightly. I know some moms I would consider “buddies” and some I would consider “acquaintances.” However, I can only think of one mom I know who is really a friend, and she lives 3,000 miles away.
Who am I?
I’m a first-time mom.
I have a daughter, and I live in West Los Angeles. Vaccinating my child is extremely important to me. Comedic improvisation is something I do for fun and because it makes me genuinely happy. I love to watch football and be disappointed with the San Francisco 49ers (my home team)! I rarely drink alcohol… even wine. I’m more of a coffee addict. I have an extremely hyper basenji (dog) rescue that drives me nuts and isn’t particularly friendly with strangers, but is fiercely loyal to me and my daughter. My daughter has super red hair and blue eyes.
Am I special?
Each of those descriptors seems to place me into a special category or might help me get into some special club, but then, the other descriptors seemingly do not fit. I work 32 hours a week, so I can’t go to Mommy & Me yoga at 10am on a Tuesday. If your kid hasn’t gotten the MMR vaccine, I don’t want him to put my kid’s toy in his mouth. I believe in baby-led weaning, but I still don’t give my daughter meat on the bone. I’m “still” breastfeeding, and I don’t need advice on how to transition her to whatever plant- or animal-based milk you might think she needs. I used to be an athlete, but now I’m lucky if I don’t throw my back out while chasing the baby (although, I would love a partner in workout crime).
What is the deal?
Anyway, suffice it to say, I’m at a crossroads. I want my daughter to have great friends, and it seems she does. She gets along really well with the kids at daycare. Most of the kids in our playgroup are vaccinated. We are lucky we joined that group when my daughter was about 3 months old. I just find myself feeling like the outsider wherever we go. I am a square peg, just sitting next to a round hole, not even trying to fit into it.
It’s not you, it’s me.
Despite being present at La Leche League meetings, playgroups, Mommy & Me classes, etc., I still somehow missed out. The other moms get together socially outside of our scheduled group meetups. They know each other’s husbands and intimate life details. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m socially unavailable. Regardless, I am glad my daughter has good friends her age, and I’m willing to sacrifice whatever it takes for that to be the case.
Wanna be friends?